Saying Goodbye and other reasons we foster

This is the second entry in a 6-part series on foster parenting.  To view a list of all the videos and blogs available in this series, please click here.

Do you want to know the number one reason people tell us they can’t consider fostering children?  It’s not lack of space, time, money, or ability.  It’s not lack of care, concern, or information.  While those might be valid reasons, the number one reason people tell us they cannot foster is because they don’t believe they could say goodbye.  They believe they do not have the capacity to love, bond, and attach with a child they may not get to keep.

Saying goodbye is tough. What would be worse?  Never saying hello.

I have mothered many children over the past ten years.  Only four claim me on their birth certificate.  I’ve said goodbye to more pieces of my heart than I can count.  And I wouldn’t demand a single piece of it back.  Not one single time did I wish I hadn’t said hello, fallen in love, and bonded with a child I didn’t get to keep.  Not once, not even for a moment.

If saying goodbye isn’t hard, you’re doing something wrong.

We don’t become parents because we want a child to love us.  We become parents because we have love to give.  There is no one more deserving of this love than a child in foster care.

We don’t bond and attach with our children because we need to boost our own confidence.  We bond and attach with our children because they need to understand healthy relationships, experience care, and grow as individuals.  There is no one more deserving of strong bonds and attachment than a child in foster care.

We become so paralyzed with the end of the story, we don’t realize all the amazing chapters in between.  There are many reasons not to become a foster parent.  I promise you, saying goodbye is not one of them.  The difficulty of goodbyes means you have experienced a phenomenal journey that takes place after saying hello.

This is not a break up, this is a gift.

Love and attachment will cost you.  It will cost your pieces of your heart.  But does not our God promise to meet all our needs in Christ Jesus our Lord?  Does He who has called us to care for such as these leave us empty when we obey this command?  Absolutely not!  He is faithful.  And He will refill the Christian who dares to travel the beautifully broken journey of goodbye.

Luke 9:47-48

But Jesus, knowing what they were thinking in their heart, took a child and stood him by His side,  and said to them, “Whoever receives this child in My name receives Me, and whoever receives Me receives Him who sent Me; for the one who is least among all of you, this is the one who is great.”

Next part

Click here to view the next part of this series which will explore the topic of home inspections.

This blog entry is part of a 6-part series on foster parenting.  To view a list of all the videos and blogs available in this series, please click here.

One thought on “Saying Goodbye and other reasons we foster

  1. Pingback: Shared Parenting: Connecting Foster Families and Birth Families – Arizona Faith and Families

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